"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Generosity Day

"It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves." ~ John Bulwer

For reasons those of you who've been reading this blog for yonks are familiar with, this idea makes so much sense to me.

And yes, you don't need to remind me of my personal hellhole about love. My neuroses, insecurities and not feeling like I'm enough or included in the human experience are all present and accounted for, thank you very much. I am hyper aware of them every single day. To the point of consciously disengaging from social media where lives are full of happy, happy, happy! Joy, joy, joy!

I don't take it against you your happiness and blessedness in life. Seriously, it's not you, it's me and my faulty filter. I know that and I take full responsibility for it. In light of everything that is and is not, I am really just finding ways to take care of my heart. I wish I could say it were easy, but in all honesty I feel gutted most of the time. But then again, it's February. That's the time of the year I feel like there's a hole in my heart anyways, so no surprises there.

The only thing about this idea of Generosity Day that I'm fearful of is the one where it says I have to say yes to everything that's asked of me all day long. Gulp. I am far from being that brave, although I'd like to believe I know a little about courage. Strength? Nah, not so much.

(Photo credit: Hector Guera)

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