"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Saturday, June 05, 2010

I Love How God Made Me

I said that on an IM with a friend once. To which he replied, "me too!"

There are days when it's easy to get there. And there are days when it is not. Today I got there almost without effort and a whole lot of gratitude.

Because no matter how I hee and haw about stuff, in the core of my being, I am thankful for how God made me. I truly am.

I love how He gave me a sense of humor. How He made it easy for me to recognize the funny. How He gave me the gift of being able to make people laugh every once in a while.

I love how He enjoys me, how He looks forward to our daily repartee. He delights in me. That moves me to no end.

I love how He sends me people whom He will use to teach me to love. I love how some of these people are hapless and clueless in the way God is using them to teach me these things. I realize very few of my 'teachers' are aware of the lessons they are teaching my heart. But that's God's design. These are my lessons. Their lessons are most likely different from mine. I would like to think I too am used haplessly and cluelessly by God to teach them a lesson or two.

I love how He sends me what I need, even if it's not necessarily what I want.

I love how He's patient with me. How He sits with me in my desolation. How He lets me go through what I need to go through, even when I drag my feet towards healing only because staying in the hurting is comfortable and familiar.

I love how me gave me the body I have. Every night when I moisturize after I shower, I say a prayer of thanks for this body which serves me. I'm thankful that it's healthy, even in the face of the sugar-and-salt onslaught I subject it to. I'm thankful for the parts I like, and the parts I like-a-little less. And the parts that I don't notice but continue to miraculously chug along so I can enjoy an ease of movement I take so much for granted.

I'm thankful for my funny face. I've had people laugh at it a lot, but when I'm staring at it in the bathroom mirror and it's just me and God, I gaze at it and I whisper, with an ardor that surprises me: "This is the face God loves."

Reminds me of a doggie poster I used to have that said: "I am not loved by God because I am valuable. I am valuable because I am loved by God."

He loves me first. And calls me beautiful, regardless of how I feel about it.

This is the face God loves.

I love how God made me.


bluggerbug said...

Thank God He made you. :)

Mayang said...

Aww. Thank you Bluggerbug. Right.back.at.ya. XOX