Last weekend, I mentioned to Zippy that I find I am operating lately on heightened awareness.
Yesterday was no exception.
I had a meeting outside the office that ended earlier than expected and it was too late to go back to the office so I decided to go home. I had an early dinner then felt prompted to go take a walk.
So I laced up and went out towards the beach, walking the length of my eight kilometer running route.
Many a time I had run that route telling myself that I should walk it one day. When I run, I am more focused on myself rather than my surroundings. I'm listening to my breathing, keeping a certain cadence, making sure my running form is aligned so that my knees are comfortable. There are a myriad of things that occupy my mind when I run. I do get to a point where my muscle memory kicks in and I can look around at where I am and notice things. But these moments are fleeting and far between.
Now, walking for me is totally the opposite. Walking always takes me out of myself and makes me aware of everything around me. And paradoxically, noticing everything outside of me makes me attuned to things within me. Emotions I may have swept under the proverbial rug arise in my heart, coaxing me to pay it heed, give it attention, acknowledge that it exists. Prompting me to deal with it because it is there for a reason and it would be good for my spirit to pay heed to it. Not act on it necessarily, just notice that it's there.
Which is why when I am bothered or have things inside of me that I feel need sorting, I walk. And it's a testament to where I am right now in the journey that after years of not taking walks, there I was last night, prompted to walk. And reaping the spiritual benefits of walking.
My soul was refreshed. God was on show-off mode last night. He made sure it was windy and gave me a wonderful sunset and surrounded me with all these people out and about. It felt right to walk so much so that my A personality didn't even kick in when I saw people running.
I want you all to know that I prayed for each one of you. You in Australia, the US, Singapore, Canada and the Philippines. You were in my prayers and in lifting you all up, my spirit was lifted up too. God was on show-off mode. It felt like He was saying "See Mayang? See how much I love you? See what lengths I will go to to show you My love?"
He is the Heart of my heart. I am not lost. I am found.
"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
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