"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Confessions of a Non-Shopaholic

I caught the movie on the plane (where else would I catch it?) and it struck me how much I couldn't relate to the main character at all.

It's not that I don't get to a point where I miss paying a credit card bill. I have a few times, but not enough to seriously impact my credit rating. And the few times I got there, I put myself in such self-created stress that paying it off was really the only ticket out of that bad ride.

And lest you think I don't like shopping, I do. But not as much as some people. And really not as much as most people.

But we all have our drugs of choice. It's just that shopping isn't one of mine.

Most recently, I find that when I'm in a mall, I am bored stiff. After I've done a few errands and find myself in between appointments, I walk around and look at stuff but nothing really entices me. Sometimes, something (usually a pair of shoes) catches my eye and I want to buy it then I look at the price tag and I put it back on display. In real money terms, I can afford these things. But psychologically, I can't find it in me to buy them. If there is one love affair that I've definitely gotten over, it's my infatuation with my spending power. Power is not always in the exercising of your right to spend. More and more I realize that power - real power - is in restraint. Be that money, or food, or for some people, even exercise (Although none of my friends are addicted to exercise. If they were, they wouldn't be my friends! Haha!)

All this pondering brought me to asking the question, what is my drug of choice? I have a few answers to that. These are usually the reasons I have debts in the first place. And I'm making a valiant effort not to let it overpower me now. I want to recognize it for what it is, sans drama. Examine it antiseptically and figure out with God's grace how to move forward.

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