"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Gratitude


“Everyday, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” ~ Dalai Lama

There have been a number of friends who've come a-knocking on my door, asking for a meet up, for which I am grateful beyond words. Besides Ros' lovely visit last weekend, there were two other get-togethers that have helped me get out of an emotional rut.

One of these is a Sunday afternoon with my former roommates now married with kids. They had asked that I bring my friend D to the shindig and so I did and it was such a blast being surrounded by these friends who were my home, my family for a number of years here in Singapore. It really was akin to coming home. How I wish we could do it more often, but I guess that's why the time together is always so precious. Time just whizzed by, the sun had long gone down when we said our goodbyes.

And surprise surprise, I found myself telling jokes which actually elicited laughter! Who would've thought?! Maybe it had to be friend-induced. Maybe it needed to be in the right temperatured environment where I felt not only safe, but accepted for who I was, then bam! We were on. I miss that. I didn't know how much I missed it until Ros and I were sharing a chuckle. Until my friends were having side stitches and tears in their eyes. Until J and I were throwing our heads back in laughter. If I were to be a junkie, let this be my drug of choice.

And for all those who were thoughtful enough to comfort me in my disappointment at deciding not to run the full, God bless you. For not thinking I am a failure, even though I get there. For patting me on the back, looking me in the eye and saying in your most sympathetic way 'It's ok, Mayang." Bless you for showing me a kind of kindness that my heart yearned for. I yearned for that. I didn't know how much I yearned for it until that kindness was shown me.

Then there's all this undeniable hope in the air! And a weekend trip of inspiration coming real soon!

So we're on the mend. We're trying to eat right again. We're getting some exercise again. We're breathing deeply again. We're making plans again. And amidst even the uncertainties we face, we remain unfazed. We are unfettered. We are hopeful.

(Photo credit: SuZen.)

No comments:

Blog Archive