"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Glory of Friendship

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the best compliments I've received was when a friend told me I was egoless.

But no matter how pleasing to my spirit the sound of that compliment was, I know that it isn't true. I am as full of ego as the next person, sometimes even more so. My ego gets bruised by slights from friends, real or imagined. It hurts with petty indignation, stews in unexpressed anger and slathers on the balm of self pity every now and then.

If you know me well enough, or paid closer attention, you will see my ego rear its ugly head from time to time. It is especially a nuisance during the times I am hiding with all my might when all I really desire with all my heart is to be found. For my company to be preferred, not abhored or dismissed or considered inconsequential. And I do get there sometimes. Thank God, not always.

Most times though, the best version of myself - the Mayang I strive to be -
does not allow my ego that much airtime. When it's not looking, my ego will try to get a bit of the limelight, but overall, it is kept in check. Internally, I do a lot of analyzing with the thoughts that run through my mind. A lot of them emanate from the ego, but I realize that if I recognize it early enough that I can see it for the illusion that it is and get a balanced sense of self back. A lot of the ego script is so dramatic that I think all you have to do is take two paces back, and you will see the funny in it. I get there most times. Thank God, more often than not.

I see now that there are a few hearts in my life that allow me the priceless freedom of showing them my ego in all its ugly glory and love me still and keep my friendship and call me friend. I just want to say thank you for giving me the space to occupy in your life and for wanting to be a living, breathing, wholly invested part in mine.

Thank you for making me feel safe enough to trust you with my friendship. I am moved. I am loved. I am mighty blessed.

(Photo credit: erica2368)

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