I don't think I've clocked in enough miles to train properly for it. And to be honest, I've been in a bit of a funk lately, not caring at all about exercise or eating right and all.
Anyways, I started telling some of my friends from the choir last night about my change of plans. Do I feel like I disappointed people? Not really. I hadn't committed to running for a cause so really, if anything, I feel like I'm only disappointing myself. And I don't even need any help from anybody when it comes to making myself feel bad. I can self-loathe with the best of them.
But I won't. I'll find it in me to be kind to myself. To cut myself some slack. To give myself permission to be in the blahs for a bit. Maybe that's what I need to learn right now.
I find I am in such a weird place: I am disappointed with myself and I can't be bothered to care all at the same time.
I miss the gung ho version of myself. I really miss her.
"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
- ► 2012 (12)
- ► 2010 (99)
- ► 2009 (100)
- Friends Tried and True
- Five Things
- Respecting This Season
- In Between the Breaking Points
- I Don't Think I'm Running the Full :(
- My Worlds are Merging... Again
- God My Father
- The City of Smiles
- Everything Has Its Time
- I Wrote This Letter Yesterday
- A Painful Lesson
- Luke 11: 5-13
- It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like..
- Trust in the Ever-Changing Climate of the Heart
- ▼ October (14)
- ► 2007 (330)