"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Some Enchanted Evening

I've flaked out on a quite number of parties, drinks and get-togethers this year, I will admit. I think it's cause I'm tired. There are those who invite me because they want me to dish out the funnies. They want me to be the amusing guest who'll make everyone else laugh. This phenomenon really only takes place when I'm really comfortable, but I guess it just goes to show I can get really comfortable with an audience.

I don't regret being such a flake because deep inside, I have no desire nor inclination to perform, to be 'on,' or to be the funny girl. Not lately at least.

What I do miss though is having someone I love love the way I can work a room. When soonafter we enter the party, he'll stand back and happily let me take the limelight while he sits back, accepting and proud of who I am. Laughing at stuff he's already heard, chiding me with a look every now and then.

That I miss.

(Photo credit: ~Paige~)

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