"I am large. I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Same, but Different

It never fails. Every time I travel across the world, I come back in a quasi-funk of sorts. (I think jetlag has a lot to do with it)

Maybe because all that time traveling on planes, trains, buses and automobiles gave me the opportunity to reflect on the blessing that is my life. Couple that with real, honest conversations with my friends Bluggerbug, Zippy and V. and I always end up contemplating a lot on how I see the world, where I'm at and how I've changed (or not changed).

It's questions like "Would you want to live here?" and how quickly and easily I respond to it that make me realize once again that I am ok where I am. Rightly or wrongly, there is a feeling deep in my gut that says I don't want to live there. It's not that it's a bad place necessarily to move to. It's just not the one for me. I have seen enough of the world to know that it's not necessarily Nirvana, but then again no place is. A level of discomfort is good, me thinks. Wherever we are. We were not created to stay on this earth anyways. We're just passing through.

And yet, in this season of seismic shifts in my internal life, in the midst of changes so incremental and unseen that most will go unnoticed, these heartfelt conversations also brought to light how I've changed and how I'm changing. I am not the same person who came to California last August and clearly, I'm not the same person who last visited New York and Washington DC two years ago. I see how I've changed too. And how my friends have changed, even when in the core, they remain the same.

The clincher for me is that I am given the opportunity to see how Aslan has accompanied the four of us in our respective journeys, and I am moved to tears with gratitude when I ponder His grace and His prodding in each of our lives. He amazes me and I am humbled. He is the only show-off whose company I truly enjoy.

If anything, catching up with Bluggerbug, Zippy and V. convinced me unswervingly that He is leading each of us into the presence of His relentless, unceasing and inescapable love.

I live today in the embrace of God's grace. And I am thankful beyond words that my friends are too.

4 comments:

benjiedlp said...

so, of course, my two questions next time you visit will be:

1) How have you changed? and,
2) How do you think I've changed?

Zippy

Mayang said...

Ok, it's a date then. I'll answer those questions next time I visit. :)

bluggerbug said...

my heartfelt thanks for all the feel-good conversations...for being such an inspiration...for being such a great friend.

Mayang said...

Right back at ya, Bluggerbug! Our friendship is an entanglement all on its own! Hugs to Tati and Nicole yeah! And see you soon... wherever!

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